Week 15, Post 3: Audience Adaptation

Griffin says that, "By mindfully creating a person-centered message specific to the situation, we increase the possibility of achieving our communication goals" (477). Audience adaptation is important in communication because it helps us reach out to those we are speaking to. Griffin points out that audience adaptation is most successful when we "adapt our message to the attitudes, actions, or abilities of the audience" (478). The only problem with this is that as speakers, we may loose our authenticity and compromise our own beliefs. It's a thin line we must walk. It is wrong to ignore the audience, but it is also wrong to cater to them completely. The best answer is to find a happy medium. We must keep the audience in mind but not compromise ourselves to the fullest degree.

Week 15, Post 2: Motivation

Griffin's thread of motivation ties many theories together. Griffin states that, "Communcation is motivated by our basic social need for affiliation, acheivement, and control, as well as our strong desire to reduce our uncertainty and anxiety" (472). The need for affiliation ties in both social penetration theory and the spiral of silence. Social penetration theory says that we acheive affiliation through self-disclosure. On the other hand, "fear of isolation- the loss of affiliation- is what causes those in the minority to remain silent" (472). Our human need to be affiliated with others is really strong. No one really likes being alone and in the minority. We have a basic human need of wanting to be with others. This can explain cliques in high school. We all have this need to be accepted and feel a part of the group. If we speak out against the group, we risk being kicked out of the group. Communication is motivated by our need for affiliation because we communicate in ways that don't endanger our affiliations. This happens on a daily basis and we try our best not to jeopardize our affiliations. I think my own communication is strongly motivated by the need for affiliation. I'm not sure if I can explain this need, except that it is basic and instinctual.

Week 15, Post 1: Keep Looking

I really like how Griffin ends the book by saying that we should "keep looking" for new communication theories (485). Communication theories are not limited to what's in our book. There is still much to be discovered about the subject. Griffin urges us to go deeper and look intensely at something that fascinates us about communication. Perhaps we may uncover a theory or phenomena of our own.

Reflecting back over the semester, there is so much more to communication than I could have ever imagined. And as Griffin points out, it doesn't end with this text. There is more out there and as "Comm Scholars" it is in our hands to discover more. Communication is intwined in every part of our lives. Understanding how it works (and doesn't work) is important, especially for us Comm majors!

Week 12, Post 3: Name Changing

On page 457 of Chapter 35, name changing is discussed. When Cheris Kramarae was married she took the last name of her husband, which was Kramer. Ohio law required that she take her husband's last name. I don't consider myself an outright feminist but when I think about the "tradition" of taking your husband's last name, I suddenly realize how much we as women give up. I like Kramarae's idea of combining her last name Rae, with her husband's, Kramer. Apparantly, her husband did not change his last name. This "tradition" is really part of the law. And while you as a woman can choose to keep your last name, society will raise its eyebrow at you.



I also appreciated some of the terms that were shown in the excerpt from Kramarae and Treichler's Feminist Dictionary. Again, some of the common, traditional terms we use everyday are completely male-centered or gender-biased. Take the term "family man". As Kramarae points out, no one says that "family woman" because it's practically redundant. But a "family man", well that's a special thing. Not all men are all about their wife and kids. Again, we assume that women HAVE to be all about their husband and kids and if they aren't, there is something seriously wrong with them. Start thinking about some of the words that are in our everyday vocabularly. I know I have, and I realize there's a whole lot more behind a word than just it's definition.

Week 12, Post 2: Man Power

I found the section titled The Masculine Power to Name Experience in Chapter 35 to be very true. As with the standpoint theory, Kramarae notes the difference between the male and female experience in the world. Going further, she points out that "women's talk is subject to male control and censorship" (456). I never noticed that the phrase level playing field was so masculine. I know it's sports related but I never thought about the significance of the phrase. How ironic it is that a phrase related to making things equal between men and women is a "stereotypical masculine linguistic term" (456).

There are also way more derogatory terms for women than there are for men. One example given was the kinds of words that refer to the way that only women talk. These terms, such as catty, bitchy, and gossipy don't apply to male conversation. Also, there are practically ten times more gender-related terms that label women as sexually-loose than there are for men. Obviously, society has been male-dominated and the course language has taken is evident of that. So what do we do with these terms? It would be difficult to get rid of them, as some of them are popular even today. I'm not sure anything can really be done but it is important that muted women are given a voice in society.

Week 12, Post 1: Me Tarzan, You Jane

I really liked the section Chapter 34 about Women As A Marginalized Group. This section basically points out that men and women communicate differently. Julia Wood does not say that this is due to gender differences but rather "cultural expectations and the treatment that each group receives from the other" (444). It really all begins at birth. We "train" our children... we give girls dolls and dress them in pink. We give boys toy trucks and action figures. Essentially, boys and girls understand that they are treated a certain way. Harding and Wood also point out that not all men and women share the same standpoint. At one end of the spectrum, there are minority women, especially Black women who are lesbians. They "are almost always marginalized" (444).

This section also made me think of Tarzan and Jane as a good example of the difference between male and female communication. The way that Tarzan speaks is symbolic of how men communicate: straight to the point. Jane (who is also obviously more civilized) uses more words and uses her communication to build a relationship. We always think of men and women communicating differently, but when the standpoint theory is applied, it makes things more interesting.

Week 10, Post 3: Media Malady Effect

Media malady effect on page 367 in Chapter 28 is "negative economic headlines and stories that depress consumer sentiment and leading economic indicators". This effect seems to be occurring right now. There are so many negative headlines about our economy lately that it has hurt our trust in it. Seeing scary headlines about the crashing stock market and housing market has truly affected our feelings about the economy. In positive times, we seem more willing to buy. Right now, we are so concerned about the future and present situation that we are tightly holding on to whatever money we have. Because media organizations have the power to change our thinking, perhaps more positive stories would help boost the faith of consumers. I'm not sure what positive stories are our there, but if the media has such an effect, then it's worth a shot. The example of air safety and it's effect on the public is a good example. After 9/11, the number of people flying dropped significantly and stayed that way for a while. The negative images on the tv did not help the situation. The images of planes crashing into buildings stayed in a lot of people's minds. You would think that the media would use their power to make more people feel happier. Instead of constantly showing negative stories, the media should show ones that inspire and drive consumerism. Most of the news on tv now is depressing and it only makes you think of how horrible the world is. Perhaps a "feel good" approach to the news would change things.

Week 10, Post 2: The Spiral of Silence

The spiral of silence in Chapter 29 is "the increasing pressure people feel to conceal their views when they think they are in the minority" (372). I see this happening right now with Election Day drawing near. There are some touchy issues on the ballot, such as Prop 4 and Prop 8. I think my mom is experiencing the "spiral of silence". She has strong feelings against a certain proposition and is in the minority with her opinion. As a result, she does not wish to discuss her position with others. It can be difficult to discuss something when everyone else is against you. The spiral of silence seems to be very present in the business world. How many of us have been at a job where something questionnable is going on, but everyone is going along with it. There is always that one person who wants to speak out because they believe it's wrong but they don't say anything because of the spiral of silence.

Noelle-Neumann says that the thought of isolation is scary and stressful to someone who wants to speak out. The person wonders if they will be ridiculed, hated, or banned from their group. These "punishments" often force people to conform and "join the bandwagon". Noelle-Neumann says that "only the criminal or moral hero doesn't care what society thinks" (374). Criminals obviously don't care because they have gone against the norm by committing a crime and moral heroes don't care because they believe in being righteous. The rest of us are too kind and actually care what other people think. I don't think there's anything wrong with that but we need to learn to stand up for what we really believe in and not be scared of other people's opinions.

Week 10, Post 1: Agenda-Setting Theory

I found the agenda-setting theory in Chapter 28 to be really interesting. According to the agenda-setting hypothesis, "the mass media have the ability to transfer the salience of issues on their news agenda to the public agenda" (359). I watch the news and read the paper a lot. I notice that when they generally all talk about the same issues at the same time. Obviously, right now the focus is on the election. The past few weeks, the economy and stock market have been the top story every day. Thinking back to the OJ Simpson trial, that was the top story of every news channel and the front page of all the papers. McCombs and Shaw were not saying that reporters are purposely influence the public but that they do focus our attention to certain issues. Hence, whatever is important to the public at the moment, is important to the media. While I agree with McCombs and Shaw, part of me does believe that the media has some influence over the public. Sometimes an issue is all hyped up and the public gets really anxious and excited... but it wasn't anything to be worried about. And while the media is supposed to be unbiased and fair, they still influence our thoughts and feelings about what issues are important. When the stock market crash was at the top of the news every day, my parents were really worried. All they saw was extensive coverage and front page news about the stock market plummeting. This influenced their feelings and behavior over those weeks. Now the election is upon us and it is important to the public, therefore it will be important to the media. I'll probably start paying more attention to the "media agenda" and decide for myself how strong their influence is.

Week 9, Post 3: A Deal with the Devil

Page 319 of Chapter 24 discusses Postman's Faustian bargain. A Faustian bargain is "a deal with the devil; selling your soul for temporary earthly gain" (319). Postman says that with every new technology comes a price and we are essentially presented with a Faustian bargain. I can definitely see how this could be true. We have these wonderful devices called cell phones but we have paid dearly for them. We cannot be apart from our cell phones. They are everywhere with us, in class, at work, etc. Our friends and family are at our fingertips. We text hundreds of times a day, but at what cost? My parents used to get angry because I was so attached to my cell phone and texting that I would be texting under the table at the restaurant where we were having dinner. The cell phone has infringed on our personal and family time. Yes, it's done a great number of things for us. But at the same time, it's also caused a lot of harm. I asked my mom what they did before cell phones were invented. How could your date contact you if he had a flat tire while on his way to meet you at the movies? How could those brave souls during 9/11 call their families to tell them that their plane had been hijacked? What would we do without our cell phones? It's a high price to pay but I won't be giving mine up anytime soon.

Week 9, Post 2: Media Coverage

On page 342 of Chapter 26, Hall emphasizes the point that "multiple media outlets end up speaking on a major issue with what seems to be a single voice". This was especially true right after 9/11. Despite the initial thought of, gee, perhaps we should consider how the rest of the world sees us, there was a general consensus that we must join together and be patriotic. There was little opposition to Bush and his plans. If anyone dared speak out, they quickly apologized. This goes to show how powerful mass media is and the strong impact it has on our lives. With the media leading the patriotic charge, the rest of the country followed. We were all more patriotic right after 9/11. I remember there were songs and telethons and people started putting all these flag emblems on their cars. Mass media shapes our perspective of the world. We don't know how the rest of the world feels about us because the media rarely examines that. And so we continue to live in our little American bubble and think that we are the coolest people on the face of the earth. I'm not sure how we can escape the influence of mass media. It's everywhere... on the news, in the papers, on the internet. I think you would have to live in a cave somewhere to get away from it. Yes, the mass media is important but we should take everything with a grain of salt because eventhough they are supposed to be unbiased, they still lead us to think a certain way.

Week 9, Post 1: Media Through the Ages

It's amazing to think that there was a time when there were no computers and cell phones or even books and the telepgraph. As humans, we have evolved and so have our means of communication. Chapter 24 discusses media and its history through time. During the Tribal Age, the ear was the most important sense receptor. The world was a wild and untamed place and being able to hear your surroundings was vital to survival. Spoken word also played an important role. This is how stories and ideas were passed along. McLuhan claims that early people lived better lives than literate people because hearing involves a deeper connection with your community and surroundings. Today, it is so easy to tune the world out. Text messaging has also eliminated the need for hearing. We no longer need to speak to one another. We just need to be able to text really fast and read!

The Age of Literacy brought a with it new problems. Although written word has been extremely important, it began to separate people. There were those who could read and write and those who could not. This allowed for discrimination and oppression. The Print Age continued the visual era through mass-production. The Electronic Age has changed the face of media and communications. It's mind-blowing to think that it all started with the telegraph and now we have the iphone and ipod. We are currently in the Digital Age. Technology is becoming faster and more advanced. Our world is getting smaller and we now have this "global village". There are blogs and places like MySpace that let us connect with the world within a matter of seconds. As our environment evolves, who knows what the next era may bring...

Week 8, Post 3: Narrative vs. Rational-world Paradigms

I don't consider myself a rational person. I'm very instinctual and I tend to base my decisions on past experiences. Chapter 13 discusses the shift from a rational world paradigm to a narrative one. Like Fisher, I feel that the rational-world paradigm is "too limited". The narrative paradigm is similar to the rational one but based on the premise that narrative is "the basis of all human communication" (302). As the chapter states, stories are an intrical part of our lives. We are storytellers and we tell stories daily. I don't think most people base their decisions on the basis of logical arguments. Most people tend to make decisions based on good reasons and depending on the "communication situation". It's interesting that both paradigms can view a story in two very different lights. The rational-world paradigm casts doubt on the story of Ruth. The narrative paradigm says that each individual will make their own judgements about Ruth's story based on what we consider to be good reasons. I think I definitely prefer the narrative paradigm!

Week 8, Post 2: Let's Blame Wayne

In Chapter 22, Burke discusses rhetoric as "redemption through victimage". According to Burke, there are two choices, mortification and victimage. Mortification is "confession of guilt and request for forgiveness" (293). Mortification is often not practiced. Burke gives examples of Bill Clinton and O.J. Simpson who found it hard to admit they were wrong. Why is it so hard for us to admit we are the cause of our own misery? Instead, we prefer to blame someone or something else. This is what Burke calls victimage. Victimage is "scapegoating; the process of naming an external enemy as the source of all personal or public ills" (293). This practice has been going on for ages. Hitler used the Jews. In the crusades it was non-Christians. In America, it's been anyone from the Middle East. Victimage is nothing new. I suppose we feel that it's just easier to blame someone else for our own problems. We don't look inward and turn a blind eye to our own faults. I liked the cartoon in the book which depicts a guy, Wayne, who has become the world's scapegoat. In essence, anyone or anything can become a scapegoat. You were late to work today? Of course it's not your fault (because you woke up late). It's the slow drivers on the freeway and the stop lights that just happened to be red when you pulled up. When a speaker uses victimage, the audience can "unite" together and fear overrides common sense. Instead of realizing what the real problem is, we would rather blame an "enemy".

Week 8, Post 1: The Golden Mean Is Supreme

On page 286 of Chapter 21, Aristotle's golden mean is described as "the virtue of moderation; the virtuous person develops habits that avoid extremes" (286). Aristotle suggests that speakers should err on the side of caution regarding telling the truth, taking risks, and self-disclosure. We should not go to either extreme. When telling the truth, we should not be so honest that it ends up being offensive. We also should not lie. Instead, we need to just be truthful. When the issue is self-disclosure, there is no need to bare our soul and tell every single tearful detail. At the same time, we shouldn't be too secretive; the straight facts are sufficient. When the issue is risk-tasking, we need to act with courage. We should not be cowards but we also shouldn't be reckless.

When you think about it, the golden mean is the best way to persuade people. Obviously, lying to people is not a good idea! When they find out you've lied, they definitely won't believe you anymore. Secrecy isn't good either. People don't like when information is withheld from them. Cowardice means you skirt around the issue and don't address it and people don't like that either. On the other end of the spectrum, brutal honesty can put people off. It can even be hurtful and lack tact. Honesty is great but there is a boundary that shouldn't be crossed. Soul-baring can also put people off. A man giving a speech may not want to start crying while giving away too many emotional details. Honestly, some viewers may see him as weak. There has to be some restraint when self-disclosing. Recklessness is dangerous. A speaker should have courage but not to the point that he teeters over the edge of assertiveness. When I listen to speakers now, I will start paying attention to see if they are following the golden mean!

Week 7, Post 3: "If you don't like it, quit!"

"Because I'm the boss."
"Because I say so."
"If you don't like it, quit."
"It's my way or the highway." (265)

How many of us have heard these lines in the workplace? In Chapter 20, Deetz explains that managerialism is a "systematic logic, set of routine practices, and ideology that calues control over all other concerns" (265). When employees get a taste of power, they want more. This seems to be true with managers. Many managers are power hungry and crave control. How do you respond when a manger tells you "if you don't like it, quit"? Most of us bite the bullet. These managers give us a "choice" which boils down to our loyalty to our job, and most of us don't want to be disloyal. There are the handful of us that will not take crap from anyone, let alone our managers. I applaud these people... but I need to keep my job. This is how the voice of the employee gets drowned out. Managers get rewarded for being controlling and taking care of business. It is the bottom line that is important and not how the bottom line is achieved. Control seems to have more cons than pros. Employees are resentful and resort to just "doing their job". Better communication and more control to employees seems to be the best way to combat these issues.

Week 7, Post 2: Dangling the Carrot

In Chapter 20, Deetz discusses the way in which corporations demand so much from their employees, yet give them little in return. Deetz says, "Consent is the term I use to designate the variety of situations and processes in which someone actively, though unknowingly accomplishes the interest of others in the faulty attempt to fulfill his or her own interests" (266). Our jobs demand so much from us. They expect us to be at their beck and call, to bend over backwards, and to throw everything else in our lives on the backburner. We give ourselves to these jobs without getting much in return. With better communication, employees would have a stronger voice in the corporate world. In reality, Deetz says that systematically distorted communication occurs. While employees may think that they are free to express themselves, the truth is that "only certain options are available" (267). This practice suppresses any conflict that could occur by preventing employees from speaking out. And the funny thing is, the employee is his own worst enemy. He doesn't even know he has a hand in his censorship. I agree with the ancedote from Lynn, a student, about her father's "workaholism". So many people grow up with their father or mother always at work. They are gone at 6 in the morning and return at 7 at night, maybe even later. They miss their children's recitals, games, and birthdays. Capitalism is great, but I think it takes a toll on our families. What does the company offer our parents for all their sacrifice? Perhaps just a pay raise, a bonus, a move up the ladder. The company loves to dangle the carrot. The dream of moving up the ladder is enticing, but at what cost? Employees need a higher stake in their company. Lynn suggests that if "men feel like they have more power in the workplace, they will be less likely to come home and feel the need to prove their power at home" (267). Only changes to communication and control in the workplace can help to achieve that goal.

Week 7, Post 1: Ethnography

I first heard of ethnography in the beginning of the semester in my Qualitative Communications class. I'd never heard of it before and had no clue as to what it was. Now that I've actually done an ethnography, I have a better understanding of what it is. Ethnography can be found on page 252 of Chapter 19. According to the text, ethnography is "discovering who people within a culture think they are, what they think they are doing, and to what end they think they are doing it" (252). It involves going to a particular site and observing the place, the people, and taking in the culture. Thick description is what is actually done by ethnographers. They compile notes and information on what they observe. The ethnographer may not understand what is going on in the culture at first, but observation lends itself to understanding.

My own experience with ethnography was different than anything I'd ever done, as far as research goes. I went to my site for several hours and just observed what was going on and took a lot of notes. I watched people, I watched how they interacted, and I took in the smells, sights, and sounds of the site. Ethnography differs from traditional research in that it forces the ethnographer to experience a culture "as members experience it" (252). It is almost like being a fly on the wall. When immersed in a culture, you start noticing how they communicate with one another, why they do certain things, and how they conduct themselves. These are things that ethnographers pay attention to and it is how cultures and organizations can be understood.

Week 6, Post 3: Reflective Thinking

I like how the four fundamental requisites can be compared to a doctor treating a patient. Reflective thinking is "thinking that favors rational consideration over intuitive hunches or pressure from those with clout". Reflective thinking can be found on page 230 of Chapter 18. The first step is to recognize the symptons of the illness, or problem. We need to analyze our problems first and foremost. The second step is to diagnose the cause of the illness. We find out where our problem comes from. The third step is to establish criteria for wellness. We figure out what needs to be done in order to fix the problem. The fourth step is to consider possible remedies. We lay out all possible ways to fix the problem. The fifth step is to test to determine which solutions will be successful. We try different ways to fix the problem. Lastly, the sixth step is to prescribe the best solution. We use the best solution to remedy the problem!

I think it would be beneficial to look at problems like a medical condition. I had a huge problem tonight! My fiance lost his wallet and keys. If I look at this like an illness, I would first recognize what the symptons of the problem are: well, we have a lost wallet and set of keys and are quite upset. Then I would diagnose the cause of the illness: stupidity on behalf of my fiance. Ok, that's a bit harsh... it was an honest mistake. Then I would establish criteria for wellness. In order to "get well" we need to replace everything and cancel anything that could be used. Next, I would consider all possible remedies and then test to see which ones will work. Finally, I implement the best solution which is cancelling his debit card, going to the DMV for a new license, making a new set of keys, etc. I feel better already...

Week 6, Post 2: Why Group Projects Suck

The last several weeks of school, I've had a lot of group projects in most of my classes. The section entitled How Should We Then Live- In A Group on page 244 of Chapter 18 gave a near perfect description of the group dynamics I've been experiencing. I'm not tooting my own horn but I like to take charge in group settings. I don't think of myself as a control freak but I don't like the idea of other people affecting my grades. Teachers like to say that group projects mimic the real world, that we'll have to work with groups in our careers. But if the hierarchy in the text is correct, then at work some of us will be doing all the work while others sight back and do nothing. Poole says that we need to be active agents of change in our groups. My only contention is that some people do not want to be active agents. They are just along for the ride, or the grade, and have no desire to step up from a passive (or rather apathetic) role. I like to make things happen and I found that last week, when I tried to let someone else step up, nothing was accomplished! It affirmed my belief that I should always have an active voice within a group and not rely on others to have one because the chances are, they won't!

Week 6, Post 1: I Gotta Problem

On page 223 of Chapter 17, the first of the four functions of effective decision making caught my interest. This first function is analysis of the problem or better said, problem analysis. The text defines problem analysis as "determining the nature, extent, and cause(s) of the problem facing the group." When there is a problem, it is important to look at it from all sides and really give it some thought. I like what my mom always says about problems. She says, "Stop, think, and predict". Stop before you make any sudden decisions. Think about what the pros and cons are. Predict any possible outcomes. Hirokawa warns us that problems can become worse when people don't really understand the problem in the first place. Problems need a lot of thought. They need to be dissected and analyzed before a hasty decision is reached.

I've made a lot of poor decisions in the past regarding problems. All I really needed to do was analyze my problem and I probably would have made a better decision. This is especially important in a crisis situation. Hasty decision making can lead to poor decision making. By thinking our problems out, we can all become better decision makers!

Week 5, Post 3: Aesthetic Moments

Page 162 of Chapter 12 highlights dialogue as an aesthetic moment. Aesthetic moments are "a fleeting sense of unity through a profound respect for disparate voices in dialogue". These moments are special times in our lives, such as the birth of a child, making love for the first time, and other significant moments in our everyday lives. Although these moments fade away, the memories can comfort us. I often think of the many aesthetic moments that I've experienced in my life. Although the moment is gone, I have the memories. Sometimes my fiance and I bring up these memories and I notice that it does bring us closer together. I didn't realize that these moments were so important in a close relationship. Our relationships are built on these moments though and they give us something to communicate about for years to come.

Week 5, Post 2: Symptom Strategy

I can't tell you how many times I've tried to avoid discussion when I don't feel like talking about something. The symptom strategy on page 171 of Chapter 13 sums up what I usually do! Instead of admitting that we would rather remain silent about a subject, symptom strategy is attributing our silence to something beyond our control such as being tired or feeling sick. My mother always wants to probe and ask me questions that I don't want to discuss with her. I always find some "symptom" to use as an excuse. I'll tell her I'm really tired or that I have a headache. Even though we may use symptom strategy, we must be aware that our family and friends are still paying attention to what we don't say. Nonverbal communication can also send messages even when we are silent. After coming home from date in high school, my mom asked me how it was. I remember telling her I was really tired and was going to bed. But she was still paying attention to my nonverbal communication and it was saying that I didn't exactly have a great time. We may feel that silence masks everything but in reality, we often forget about the nonverbal. I've noticed my nonverbal signals are easily read by my family and even some of my friends. Alas, this makes remaining silent virtually impossible...

Week 5, Post 1: Asynchronous Channel

The asynchronous channel can be found on page 147 of Chapter 11. According to the text, the asynchronous channel is "a nonsimultaneous medium of commincation that each individual can use when he or she desires" (147). Nonsimultaneous CMC has become very common in our day to day lives. In the 80's, who would have known that it would be this way. I have engaged in nonsimultaneous CMC many times and in many of my relationships. Instant messaging and text messaging are some of the most common methods. I've had a boyfriend ask me via instant messaging whether or not I still had feelings for him. I must have deleted and rewritten my answer five times. This allowed me to carefully plan out my answer. If we were face to face, I would have had no where to run or hide. I would have to answer his question directly, with little time to think. When you think out your answer in front of someone, they often question your answer. He might have told me that I was thinking too long, so therefore I must not have feelings for him anymore. The example in the text about Joe and Kathleen mirrors many of my experiences. I've gotten "off the hook" so many times thanks to the computer and text messaging. If it had been face to face or over the phone, I would have been screwed. So are we becoming less truthful because of technology? Perhaps so. Through these methods we are able to twist the truth and plot out our answers. While this may "help" our relationships, it ends up becoming not the most truthful form of communication.

Week 4, Post 3: Privacy Please

On page 121 of Chapter 9, the Communication Privacy Management Theory is described. According to Sandra Petronio, a communication theorist, “all people have personal boundary rules to guide whether or not they will disclose private information to someone else”. It is very interesting how different people form their own privacy rules. There are five criteria from which people form their privacy rules. The criteria are culture, gender, motives, context, and risk-benefit ratio.

Different cultures are more open when it comes to emotions than others. With gender, it’s pretty obvious that (most) women are more open than (most) men. Try and get a man to share his feelings with you, it’s like pulling teeth. My fiancé likes responding with one word answers. Maybe it’s just to get me to leave him alone, I don’t know. “Interpersonal motives of attraction and liking” tend to get people to disclose more with one another. Context is also important because it can change the tone of a conversation. Lastly, the risk-benefit ratio often determines whether or not we will disclose information to someone. If I feel like someone will judge me unfairly or unjustly, I may not disclose information to them because of it’s a high risk. On the other hand, if there is some benefit to me, I will disclose. If I know the person has some good advice or will just listen to my situation and offer a shoulder to cry on, then that’s a benefit!

Week 4, Post 2: Uncertainty Reduction Theory

The three conditions of Berger’s uncertainty reduction theory can be found on page 125 of Chapter 10. I love how the conditions can be applied to any new acquaintance. It makes me think about what interests me when I meet a new person. It can be applied when taking a new class with a professor you’ve never had before.

Anticipation of the future interaction: You will definitely see the professor at least once or twice a week for the duration of the semester.
Incentive value: Your grade depends on yourself of course but in the end, it is the professor who gives you your grade!
Deviance: Every professor has some quirky trait or personal history that intrigues us.

And so these three conditions drive us to figure the person out. When I think the first time I met my fiancé, I reflect back on how I got “hooked”. He made me curious and I wanted to figure our more about him. Our natural curiosity drives us to want to know more, especially when we hardly know someone.

Week 4, Post 1: Getting to Know You

"So where are you from?"

"California."

"Ok, where at?"

"Northern California."

"Ok, so like part?"

"The Bay Area."

Obviously, this conversation is going nowhere and is moving at a snail's pace. In Chapter 9, the Depth and Breadth of Self-Disclosure really sparked my interest. Altman and Taylor's depth penetration analogy explains the "degree of disclosure in a specific area of an individual's life" (115). Their first point was that people disclose more general information about themselves at first, rather than intimate and personal details. I find this to be very true. When I first meet someone, I'm not going to tell them very personal things. I'm going to tell them I'm a student, a mom, and I work full-time. I'm not going to go into extreme detail about my circumstances. It's personal and I don't know you. Back off. And that's how most of us feel. We are guarded about the personal aspects of our lives because they are personal.

The second point self-disclosure involves the law of reciprocity. This is basically, you tell me your secret, and then (and only) will I tell you mine. When with someone new, one person doesn't usually give a long spiel about their entire life. Someone usually tells one special aspect, such as "Well what I really want in life is to be a nudist". And the other person will respond, "Wow, that's incredible. I actually want to be a tree-hugging hippie." It's also like sharing work in class. One student will tell the other, "Show me yours first, and then I'll show you mine." It's as if we are afraid that our disclosure will put off the other person, so we must barter something equal so both parties have something on the line.

The third point is that pentetration happens quickly at first but slows down when we start getting to the inner layers. We may disclose a lot of general and non-embarassing information in the beginning but as we get deeper into the relationship, this slows down. We are hesitant to tell our partner that we've had ten boyfriends in the last two years or that we're serial cheaters or we are afraid of intimacy. The more personal the information, the less willing we are to want to disclose it.

The fourth and final point that depenetration takes time. Altman and Taylor warn that a relationship can fail if discussion is closed or avoided on a subject that was previously addressed. I find a lot of truth in this point. In my current relationship I have found that when I close off a subject, the relationship suffers. There is still discussion but not about the very intimate thing that was previously discussed. It will only worsen until I reopen the discussion and re-engage in deep disclosure.

Week 2, Post 3: Naming

On page 66 in Chapter 5, "naming" is recognized as an application of symbolic interactionism. Naming is when someone is called a name or epithet that may be degrading. Although we claim that "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me", it's a lie. Of course words hurt. Words can be so powerful, it's unbelievable. Words can be hurtful, especially if they aren't true, but even more so if there is some truth behind it. If I call you a liberal, you might not be offended. If I call you a nazi, you're probably going to be angry.

Interestingly enough, we sometimes believe we can take the power away from a word. The N-word is a perfect example. Some African-Americans use the N-word because they feel it takes the power and impact away from the word. Whites used the word in the past to demean and degrade blacks, and now blacks use it proudly. I'm half African-American and have used the N-word occasionally, "lovingly" between friends. The power of the word is diminished. On the other hand, if someone were to call me a nigger, I would be highly offended and hurt. When someone is called a name, it forces them to stop and think, hey, is that what people really think of me? Do people really think I'm a slut? Do people really think I'm ugly? And once we hear the word, it sticks in our head and bothers us in the middle of the night. Even if it's not true, it still gnaws at you subconsciously, and just because someone said it.

Week 2, Post 2: Phenomenological Tradition

The concept of phenomenology can be found in Chapter 4 of the text, on page 49. Phenomenology is looking at a person's everyday life from their point of view. It is understanding yourself as well as other people's life experiences.

I found phenomenology meaningful because it places an individual's personal experience higher than what research on that individual might say. Everyone's experiences in life differ, even if we come from the same background. Experiences can even differ within the siblings of a family. The problem is that our personal experiences can close us off from other people. We may not feel that we can communicate with someone else because they don't know where you're coming from. I liked Carl Rogers idea of getting past our hesitancy to communicate with others. Through congruence, unconditional positive regard, and empathic understanding, people can learn to trust each other and communicate more openly without fear that they might be judged or misunderstood.

I think that Rogers' three conditions can be applied to personal relationships as well. I find that the conditions can be found in my close friends and perhaps that is why we have a deeper connection. My best friend is congruent and I know she is always genuine with me. She's not trying to impress me or boost my ego. If she was fake, I wouldn't be friends with her. I appreciate her honesty. I also have unconditional positive regard for my best friend. I care, like, and respect her, which is why we are friends! There is also empathic understanding in our friendship. We are not judgemental of eachother. If she tells me something, I believe her, and vice versa.

Week 2, Post 1: Rhetoric

After watching the Democratic National Convention last week and the Republican National Convention this week, the concept of rhetoric in Chapter 4 really stuck out. The section on Rhetorical Tradition can be found on page 41.

Rhetoric is an important part of communication, especially at a time like now, when the presidential election is going on. Rhetoric is the art of persuasion in regards to public speaking. It involves speaking in a way that moves people. There is a focus on persuading the audience with emotional language, delivery, and tone. The text names Martin Luther King Jr. as master of rhetorical style. Rhetoric is important in our lives because it can move us to do something (or not do something). Learning the art of rhetoric is especially useful if you want to be a politician or perhaps a salesman.

Obama's speech last week is a great example. Listening to him speak, I felt compelled to take action and vote. I was filled with hope and excitement for the future of our country. His speech was inspiring to say the least. In my opinion, Obama did a good job of persuading me to vote for him. I cannot say the same for McCain's speech, which I felt was less inspiring. It could have been all the chanting of USA USA every two minutes though... that was irritating and took the focus away from his speech. While Obama is pretty darn good at rhetoric, he still falls short of Martin Luther King Jr. who in my opinion, was the best ever in terms of moving people and stirring their souls and consciousness. I could only dream of speaking like these politicians do... I have a hard enough time trying to persuade my daughter to use to the potty.

First Chapters and First Week!

After reading the first 3 chapters, I'm finding that the text is really easy to follow. I particularly found the explanation of research methods in Chapter 2 interesting. I will have to do an ethnography for another Comm class and I could really understand how Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves was doing just that! Observing, listening, taking notes, and emersing oneself into a culture sounds like a neat way to do research rather than just researching through texts and other's observations.

So far, my first week back has gone great! I completely agree... I'd much rather be in school (and not have to work). I have a new appreciation for school and if I could quit my job and just go to school, I would do it in a heartbeat. My daughter's first day was fun! We were the youngest parents in the group (making it a bit awkward, I'm not a "professional" yet) but my daughter didn't cry (like half of the other children) and she was very well-behaved. We'll see how week 2 goes...

intro

Hi everyone, I am pirateprincess! I'm returning to SJSU after a few years away. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who has the personality of a grown little lady. She starts preschool today and is very excited. I'm trying to remember my first day of school... yea, I don't remember much of it. Well, I'm looking forward to this class and continuing on my journey here at SJSU!